How to Destroy a Country Town in One Easy Step

One of the strange things about living in a country town, and lets admit it there are quite a few, is that nothing seems to happen until you blink. In that split second that it takes to close your eyelids and reopen them something major will have changed. don't know whether my town is different because it is so close to that megalopolis known as Canberra, or because it just chooses to be different.

I believe things happen this way because, to most Canberrans 'Bungendore is the town you turn right at on the way to the coast'. Braidwood, in case you are wondering 'is the town you turn left at on the way to the coast'. Batemans Bay is 'the town you stop at when you get to the coast'. Things only happen here the moment before an observant person drives through. That is why there is a flurry of 'happening things' just before Christmas time. Most other months our little time/space anomaly is unaffected by outsiders as very few people drive through. In fact it is hard to get anything done.

My loopy little theory goes as thus:

1. Before a person drives through Bungendore something has to change within Bungendore and/or its environs.

2. If two people are going to drive through, three things have to change. The extra 'change thing' is because one of the people might not notice one of the 'changes' because they are a foolish person talking on his/her mobile whilst trying to kill an innocent family. See here for other examples of clever things to do on the road.

3. If a whole heap of people drive through (i.e. Easter or Christmas) some moron will decide that building a completely unneccesary, kitch, and irreversibly ugly shopping centre in the middle of the heritage district will be required.

Yes, it is true, some goose wants to come in and build some lump of crap right next one of the oldest pubs in Australia. Not to mention knock down a few historic buildings in the process. Nice one. Would you like a clap for your cleverness, or does the echo inside your empty skull rattle your blackened heart and make you cough up cancerous fumes?

Were you dissatisfied that the city planners in Canberra knocked you back because of your obtuse vulgarity?

Look at the photo above; do you see the little cottage next to it? The little thing on the left? I don't know if that is part of the 'destruction plan' but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. It is the blacksmith's shop, I think it is around the same age as the pub. 1850s I believe. The thought of a fake heritage building makes me, and a lot of other Bungendoreans, shudder. Why don't we knock down the Royal and replace it with an Ettamogah Pub? I am sure that would fit in with the whole theme park idea.

I didn't move to Bungendore to live in a kitch Canberra suburb. I moved here because I like it the way it is. Yes development has to happen, but if you are going to vomit, do it elsewhere. Take up on the hardware's example and do it on the outskirts of town. We already have a woodworks shop, a lolly shop, a handful of craft shops, two nurseries, a supermarket, a bottlo, a leather shop, a couple of bookshops and a host of other things. We don't need anymore. Go away and screw up Iraq or something.

Jum