Symptom of the Universe

Sometimes the answers to life just reach out and smack you in the face like forty two wet fish, and sometimes you have to search for them. Fortunately for me I have some friends that forward these answers to me daily. I have also noted that my luck has improved tenfold for the next seven years because I have forwarded on so many chain emails. Just the other day I won $3 on a $2 scratchie. It makes me wonder what people did before internet and email became so intrinsically linked to our daily lives. No wonder so many people died during the Black Plague, if they could have just forwarded a few emails about Little Jimmy No-arms who had cancer of the toe and survived by painting pictures of elephants with his lips...

Back to what I was saying about the answers to life and the symptoms of the universe. Look at the photo of the man with the car. If you subscribe to the Chaos Theory and in particular the Butterfly Effect you could quite easily blame this man for the world's problems. He is a tool, he drives an enormous, ugly car and he likes his gun. If he wasn't likely to shoot me in the face I would find it hard to take him seriously when he pulled me over. I can guarantee that one of his favourite passtimes is wearing a white hood and setting fire to things in people's front gardens. Remind me not to visit this bloke's trailer park - er - town. All this man has to do is fart and there is a coup in Fiji.

As a consequence of being sent this noxious image I propose to implement an international 'Hug a Stupid Man Day'. I know my lovely wife will give me a hug.

Jum

How not to Start Blogging

I would like some help here...

Having never really started a blog before I come to you all with a complete lack of experience and knowledge in the art of blogging. Despite this, I plan to come to the table with all the brute force, imagination and self generating interest of an oversized potato.

As you can guess by my little profile I live in Bungendore, New South Wales. To those that don't know, Bungendore is a little village about 1/2 an hour's drive from Canberra. In other words, about 30 kilometers from the centre of the universe. For those that are still lost, New South Wales is in Australia. Australia is led by the man in green. You might have seen him on the idiot box once.

I don't really want to be known as 'that blogger that carries on about politics all the time with his own agenda and his self-righteous opinions on how the world should operate and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...'

There are enough wankers in the world doing that to make up for all of us. Plus, it is a waste of time pointing out the obvious. Having said that, you will find (if you haven't switched me off already) that I can't help myself from time to time. Especially if I have drunk too many beers.

Well I suppose I just continue along these lines, try to say something useful from time to time, and just sit and wait until the fame and the fun associated with all that fame, washes over me in a flurry. I think I will be waiting a while.

Well there you have it. Not too hard really. I just wrote some crap. Nice. Oh, I didn't write about gardening. Now I did. Go plant some stuff.

Until next time,

Jum of Bungendore