The Greyish Blob that is my Child

I am sure some people understand it, and I am sure there are many others that don't understand it and pretend to anyway. I am sure that most of the people think I am a bit crazy - a bit on the weird side. I am absolutely certain that people think I am completely mad when I run around the office waving a sheet of photocopied paper shouting 'look! It is my child! See, see, here is its nose, you can make out an eye and there is its head! Look at the little hand that it is holding to its mouth! It is sooooooo cute!'
Some people understand my enthusiasm and greet it with a wisened (they already have kids) 'let me see...oh, isn't it fantastic! is it a boy or a girl?' followed by a disappointed 'Oh, you aren't finding out are you".
Some people just hover nearby listening in, like I would, because they really couldn't be bothered pretending to care what is going on because it is Thursday morning and work sucks.
Most greet it with a smile that says 'damn, I should have gone to the toilet just then, rather than look at that next email'. They then look at the picture as I wildly point out the features and make random and quite pointless statements like 'it was like it was waving at us' and 'when we first saw it it was drinking the amniotic fluid and I said to the ultrasound lady that the baby is taking after her father and it was really funny and, yeah...'
There are a few people in this world that seem to be very wise and very full of it. Advice that is. Not shit. They like to say things like 'wait until it is two and it throws the first tantrum' and 'enjoy it now while it is quiet, you have eighteen years of hell coming up'. Thanks. Watch me throw a tantrum if you don't shut up.
My wife likes to look, ahem, we like to look at a number of websites, however one seems to grab my attention the most. It is probably because of its straight up web address www.i-am-pregnant.com. It has a week by week section which is apparently useful if you know what week it is. I don't know what month it is, let alone week, but I do know that this week has some of the funniest footage ever. The little ultrasound of the baby is what I am looking at. What is it doing? Am I besotted and all clucky or what? If I were these parents I would put up extra high fences around the house. I would also invest in a heap of velcro. Chandeliers are out of the question.
Our little one doesn't seem to be as active, but I don't care because I really hate to run after things. Besides a lazy baby is a healthy baby.
Ours is already full of character. I know because it waved at me with one hand and gave me the finger with the other.

Jum