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Rather than sit around and do bugger all this Canberra Day I decided to do something inspired and slightly different - besides, I certainly wasn't interested in sitting around pretending to care for the Nation's Capital, and I didn't really want to hang around in Bungendore with a pack of wet and miserable Canberrans. So I packed my camera, tripod and bag into my trusty Mazda and hit the road in search of the perfect photograph. Well, any photo would do, but I did entertain the notion that I could pull some sort of Dupainesque monochrome out of my arse.
Mission number one was up Day's hill, at the back of Elmslea estate. My wife and I had discovered some ruins around the back of the hill. Unfortunately progress 'has to happen' and these ruins will probably be dug up and converted into a McMansion some time soon. Fortunately we found this little creepy haven before progress did. The strange thing about this place was that I couldn't get it out of my head all night, and I got really excited before I left to see it again. I hung around for a while, taking a few snaps here and there. I always felt like someone was watching me. The rain, mist and dead conifers matched the place perfectly.
A little side adventure was down to the train tracks, where I took a couple of 'typical' train track photos. I was also looked at very strangely by the train driver because, as far as he could tell, I was out in the middle of nowhere, in the pissing down rain taking photos. Thankfully the fact that I am a terrorist gave me good reason to be there. 
From here I decided to go north towards Tarago. For your information this is the place that the Toyota Tarago was named after, it is just pronounced differently ie. Tarra go. I didn't end up getting there, but I did get about half way before I turned up Mount Fairy road. I went a long way up this road, found sweet FA and turned around. 
On the way back I stumbled across a rather cool railway bridge, of which I took a number of photographs. Again it was pissing down and I did get a bit wet. Little did the train driver know that I was under the bridge as he was going over the top. Ha Ha Ha, my plans are coming to fruition.From here I headed back towards home, however I needed to make a little stop at my friends place (the bottlo). After grabbing some supplies I started to head back home, however after being harassed by those Canberra people I turned left instead of right and up trucking yard lane. I took a few photos of what was quite a significant cattle run and moved on. 
Although I intended to go to Hoskinstown I turned up Gidleigh lane. This was a rather intelligent decision on my behalf because I don't think I have aver been anywhere as nice as this. Everything was green, old and beautiful. I have finally found out what should be up some of those old dirt roads.
It was all so nice a sat down and had one of those beers.
Despite being in constant fear of subscribing to that great Aussie pass time - whingeing - I have to let myself go every now and then.
Whinge number one: People who couldn't drive their finger up their bum.
Because I drive a greater distance than the average person each day, I come across a large number of dangerous fools. Here are some useful tips for drivers so that we can all enjoy a safer transit environment.
1. Drive faster when it starts raining. It is a proven fact that your car handles better when the road is greasy. It has also been scientifically proven that when you can't see very well your other senses are heightened, making you more aware and your reaction time shorter.
2. Please drive up my arse. If you get close enough our cars can make babies and we can give them to our kids. Actually you probably shouldn't have kids, the human race needs as much help as it can get without starting to devolve.
3. Drive slowly on single-lane country roads and then drive over the speed limit in the overtaking lane. This considerate behaviour is very helpful to us all. It also encourages people to drive safely when we return to the single lane.
4. Pull out in front of others. It is a great way to meet people up close, and prove at the same time that you are the centre of the universe.
Having said all this what would the world be like if we couldn't complain about awesome drivers doing awesome things? Would we really be happy when times were good? Would we have something to talk about around the Multi-Function Device (also known as a photocopier) when we got to work?
I used to worry about my arteries getting clogged up, but thanks to you, awesome driver, my increased heart rate pumps the blood through so fast that the clumps of crap are dislodged. I would also be too agressive if I didn't get my daily dose of yelling 'GET OFF THE ROAD C***!" each morning.
We need a national scheme to shame these fools; so what I propose is thus; a 'Sh.A.M.E.' register is created (Shit Drivers Accumulate More Enemies). People can log on anonymously and enter a culprit's number-plate/car colour/type and a brief description of the stupid act. People who repeat offend will be lynched and issued with wedgies of varying severity according to the level of stupidity. For example, cutting someone off for no reason will warrant the undies to be pulled up to the lower back. Driving like a complete fuckwit in the wet and then looking offended when I tell you that you have a head like a bucket of smashed crabs, would warrant the 'Sandwedge' - a handful of wet sand is stuffed down the crack and the undies are ripped up to the shoulders three times. If they should break another pair will be issued.
An annual prize will be given for the biggest repeat offender. I cannot think of anything severe enough but something to do with elephants, buggery and national broadcast sounds pretty effective.
Jum
